


deserving

by inkwellhell (georgewashingmachine)



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Canon Divergence - Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Captain America's Shield, F/M, Gen, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Post-Canon Fix-It, Sam Wilson Is a Good Bro, Wakanda (Marvel), im sorry if i butchered these characters i just needed to write something for endgame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-04
Updated: 2019-05-04
Packaged: 2020-02-21 17:25:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18706945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/georgewashingmachine/pseuds/inkwellhell
Summary: warning: endgame spoilers!He knows Steve. He knows Steve better than anyone else here.And while he knows Steve, the moment that follows is so extremely out of character that Bucky isn’t quite sure what to think.





	deserving

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. like i said in the summary: this contains spoilers for endgame! please don't read if you haven't seen it & don't want to be spoiled
> 
> 2\. im sorry if i fucked up these characters i just wanted to write something for endgame okay

He knows Steve. He knows Steve better than anyone else here.

And, yeah, maybe that was selfish of him to say, but you couldn’t deny that they had known each other their whole goddamn lives.

(Then again, after the war their meetings had been less than frequent. He fell off a fucking train, was presumably dead, spent fifty or so years working for Hydra and then—then he found Steve. Still, back then Bucky had been the Winter Soldier and not _Bucky_. Even in those small moments before Wakanda, when his brain finally belonged to _him_ again, Bucky wasn’t quite himself—but he could never really be himself again. He was a different person, now.

War really changes you. Changes the world. Changes everything.

Nothing is quite how you left it.

But that was besides the point.)

He knows Steve. Before he even steps on that fucking—time machine, or whatever it is—he doesn’t really know what the hell had been happening on Earth because he’d been _dust_ for five years—before he even steps on that fucking time machine, he knows what Steve is going to do.

And he accepted it.

So Bucky bids farewell, says how he’ll miss Steve—which would be stupid to say if he would be coming back in five seconds, the same Steve that had left—and tells him he’s taking all the stupid with him, the memory of which breaks his heart. It’s fitting, though. But he can’t say that Steve is stupid for being selfish, here. He knows goddamn well why he’s doing this. And it’s anything but stupid.

In the past, everything Steve did was for Bucky, for Bucky’s safety. Risking his own life time and time again just to save his childhood friend that nobody else rightfully trusted. He was Captain fucking America—everything he ever did was for other people. He had been selfless, selfless, selfless. He had earned the right to be selfish, for once.

Let the man have all those moments he missed out on. He deserves it.

After all Steve had done for him, Bucky was safe, stable. He was recovering. His goal was complete.

He had reached the end of the line.

Bucky accepted it. But it hurt like hell to let him go.

It’s over quickly. The others, of course, panic, and Bucky honestly feels a bit sorry for Bruce. He didn’t know. He thought he had screwed up. Bucky wishes he could comfort the poor guy.

But he’s silent, ever knowing.

And then he’s there—so Bucky points him out, and a wave of emotions passes over the other two. Relief. More panic. Confusion.

In all honesty, it’s weird as hell seeing him so old.

Bucky lets Sam talk. He needs the closure. Bucky had gotten his already.

And while he knows Steve, the moment that follows is so extremely out of character that Bucky isn’t quite sure what to think.

He gives the shield to Sam.

Sam Wilson, Falcon. He already had a goddamn niche.

James Buchanan Barnes. What the hell did he have?

A redemption arc, sure.

A new arm, void of his past, but still reminiscent.

A head free of brainwashing. A recovery path.

But nothing could erase the Winter Soldier. His alias, forever etched into his memory, the memories of the whole fucking world—burned into history like a brand.

James Buchanan Barnes was no fucking hero.

He didn’t deserve that shield.

If anything, the shield deserved to be buried with Steve. If anyone deserved it, it was him.

But of course, Steve would want to pass it on to someone, pass on the name of Captain America, let the legacy live.

But to _Sam_?

Maybe he didn’t know Steve after all.

 

 

* * *

 

 

He thinks that’s it. The shield bullshit is done and over with. Steve had given it to Sam, end of story.

The funeral proves otherwise.

He’s been to too many funerals in the past few days. All of them have.

Tony.

Natasha.

Steve.

It’s fucking sad, but Bucky had known it was coming.

There’s not much to say about it.

He’s preparing to return to Wakanda after the service when Sam comes up to him.

With the shield.

The exchange is surprisingly quick.

“Here. I thought you deserved it more than me.”

And then he’s holding the shield, and Sam is off to sit in a bird’s nest or whatever the hell he does when he’s not saving the world.

To say that Bucky is shocked is an understatement.

_I thought you deserved it more than me._

He thinks for brief moment that Steve set this up. But he can’t exactly ask him, now.

So, he accepts it.

He still had recovery to work on. But Earth would find itself in danger once again—the fighting would never stop. He knew better than to think it wouldn’t.

He just had to hope he was on the right side this time.

But whichever side he was on, he would have Steve with him.


End file.
